From C. G. Gordon to W. E. Darwin 14 January 1877

My dear Darwin

Thank you for your kind letter.

1^o About Doctors' certificate, I am dead agst it, I would like to go to a place, where all the mysteries of nature &c will be made known to me without a chance of my being deceived, and so, though I would not hasten this, I look on it, with no awe or fear and no certificate would influence me.

2^o. About Waller's wish for Christianizing the blacks, I do think he is very sanguine of the same, I cannot think that, seeing that the acceptance of Christ or the non-acceptance is a matter that man has any weight in, the whole story is so dead agst our reason, that only God can enable man to accept it. and, in my belief of His Goodness, I cannot but feel, that, whether a man accepts, or not, it will be well with him in the end.

To me, there are four great works to be done in the world.

1 The piercing of Panama

2 The opening road to China from Burmah.

3 the opening of Congo from its mouth.

4 the opening of road from Coast to Lakes in Africa.

They will be done, some day No. 4. seems to draw me towards it, it till require perhaps 4 lives to do it, with the wish I have to know the mysteries of nature the knowledge of Species; the freedom, from a comptable frame, I count my life as nought, and would sooner give it, for purpose No 4, than let it ebb away in quiet. So now for the [illeg] idea, which floats in my mind (Remember that I took on Bulgaria, as a very very small thing in comparison to scheme No 4, also I look on distruction in a war as absolutely nought in comparison to No 4) What I think practicable is this.

1 To obtain a 10 years concepⁿ from the Sultan Zanzibar for trade &c &c on the [illeg] for some miles

2. To form a Depot, and by Degrees, push into interior.

3. To do this is uncesessary to be backed by men interested in the trade therefore I say (as they have already proposed to do) let 5 of them put down 5000£, reaching a piece, representing 5 shares let them give me one share and then make up £25000 in six shares; with this we could commence, when once we had the confession. This is the idea, & I will talk to you, more of it when I see you.

Putting aside these terestial thoughts, I hope that you will allow me to continue to tell you of my views. For till you solve them, as I believe God will give you to, you cannot rest in peace. Can you think it possible, that when you were born, you first existed, does it not seem to you, as impossible you can ever cease, and consequently you can have no beginning.

Put yourself in Gods place, is it not a magnificent idea, for Him, to incarnate his spirits or angels or essence, and thus incarnated, to subject them, to the extraordinary probation or experiences that He does, while thus incarnated.

Judging of our own feelings, would we confine ourselves to a scheme, such as is said to be believed, viz that we are born to go thro' a certain career, in which we do well, we shall be in rest for ever, and if we do ill, we shall be in pain for ever, why to us, rest for ever, after our ideas, would be very unsuitable, suppose we take the programme, that at the end of our career, we cease to exist, everything in us revolts from such a waste. Of the three views, which, in your opinion, is the most magnificent, and which idea do you feel formant in you. I feel assured, no words of mine could enable you to accept any one of these ideas, if the idea, I believe, is a true one, I feel certain, most certain, that you will not be able to rid yourself of it, do what you will, for I, merely, raise as it were, what lies dormant in your mind.

In a few words, I put before you my belief.

Before creation, we existed, at creation, we were incarnated in one man, who, as a seed pod, was full of seed. you and I were in this pod. this pod contained all human bodies, and God breathed into them, the breathes of lives (it is plural) By the disobedience of this pod, we became estranged from Him, and condemnation came on all in that pod. By a miraculous incarnation, another man appeared who fulfilled the requirements, which were required to reconcile us again to God and thus we who had enough to do with the original disobedience, are re-established in our old position by the obedience of one, with which obedience we equally have nought to do with.

To me, though I can but most imperfectly describe it, the scheme is magnificent and worthy of God. I cannot after, even the imperfect knowledge, I have, of Gods wonders in nature, accept the other two views, they are not [grand].

Excuse such a long letter, but I know and feel sure I cannot fail in interesting you, for I speak, to what, I feel sure, exists dormant in you, if what I say is true, however imperfectly may I express myself, then and only then, will you have a response in you, if it is false, it will vanish. Goodbye my dear Darwin, before ever a star was created you existed.

Yours sincerely | C. G. Gordon