From Emma Darwin to W. E. Darwin [15 May 1869?]

My dear W.

George & Bessy are just crossing now (poor things) in a furious N.E. wind. B. & Anne went yesterday to Dover to break the journey & G. joined them this m^g. from London. Mr Innes is a most agreeable jolly guest & will make the house more cheerful for Lenny & Ruck who are coming today. Poor H. is still upstairs v. weak & poorly & with no appetite. Bessy went off in good spirits. There had been some difficulties so that she had given up all hopes of going & was proportionately pleased. Gingo was v. jolly too & did not mind his little round of nearly 800 miles. Now for the great question. F wrote down the pros & cons long ago & if I can find the paper I will send it you. In the first place do not marry for marrying sake (look at Uncle Frank as a warning). What you say about the difficulty of knowing society girls is v. true. One knows a little what girls are from knowing what their parents are, that is to say if you liked what you saw, you wd venture more safely than if you did not know the family. F. says marry a healthy wife & I say marry a wise one, which you will say is all v. fine talking. Don’t feel in any hurry, you are quite young enough. My opinion you know well enough that men are m. better & happier when young for being married, & that an old bachelor’s latter life is generally desolate. Even Uncle Ras who is almost as fond of Hope & Effie as if they were his own feels desolate and melancholy. When you do see anybody that rather hits your taste like that nice Scotch girl follow up the acquaintance