From Emma Darwin to W. E. Darwin 10 May 1882

My dearest William

Your dear letter was a great happiness to me. I never doubted your affection for an instant but this has brought such an overflow of it that it makes me feel that you could not spare me, & makes my life valuable to me—and in every word I say to you I join my dear Sara.

Two or 3 evgs ago they all drew me in the Bath chair to the sand walk to see the blue-bells & it was all so pretty & bright it gave me the saddest mixture of feelings, & I felt a sort of self reproach that I could in a measure enjoy it. I constantly feel how different he wd have been. I have been reading over his old letters. I have not many we were so seldom apart, & never I think for the last 15 or 20 years, & it is a consolation to me to think that the last 10 or 12 years were the happiest (owing to the former suffering state of his health which appears in every letter) as I am sure they were the most overflowing in tenderness. He as well as I felt secure about him, & any little drawback was felt to be temporary. How often he has enjoyed his study & said how good ""the boys"" were to make him take it— his fur coat too was a lasting pleasure (mentally I mean) in which you all joined. I can look back on every visit we ever paid you & have only the impression of peaceful happiness, & very little unwellness— Pleasant excursions or short drives, & the pleasant change of you returning from your work with a little news—sitting on your lawn, which I always imagine in sunshine— How he used to admire & like your old house & little lawn too which we now look down upon—

We will talk over the Rich affair when you come (I hope Sara will have the little Langtons). I think George's strongest feeling is that it is going against your father's wish; & like you I have not the least doubt that Mr Rich felt & intended to give the money to all of you, as with his long-lived family he must have known that he was likely to outlive your father; but I think the feeling that he might in the course of years regret the bequest (e.g. if he got to know well & like the Huxleys) would always be a painful doubt; & some such letter as Hen. made a sketch of wd make himfeel at liberty, & if he did not wish to make a change no harm wd be done. I do not however believe that he now wd wish it, but in some years he might feel differently

I never remember being so horror struck with any public event— (What a beautiful speech Forster made about Mr Burke—) I believe some good may come out of it in spurring on Gladstone to take some decisive step such as martial law or abolishing juries along with the measures about arrears— How disgusted Mr Parnell must have been with the brutal letter of his sister & how pleased the Times must have been to publish it.

About your gardener I believe very few gardeners are learned in perennial flowers— They can bed out; but don't know much else & when you go next time you shall take some of all our useful plants. I wish my dear Sara was coming with you—

yours my dear | E.D—

I have felt quite strong since the weather has turned cold & have walked to the sand walk w no difficulty

Dear old Leo was here & every time I see him I am more convinced of his happiness.