From H. E. Darwin to [illeg] [5-8 September 1867?]

Dear [Juia]—

I must now write every day on the coal of fire system—though I feel gone qui stoopid & have no more to say than I had yesterday which = 0. One thing I'm glad of we are to go to Wilbury on Sat. I have heard from Aunt Cath today telling me of her having refused yr invite as she has got in a fidget about getting home & is going home straight. T'would have been too provoking & just like the way things are ordained to have had the chance of being there with the boys & to have missed it— Now I only hope the weather may look up again. (it is raining & windy today & we have a fire—so comfs.) Yesterday afternoon I took Em a little drive in the gig into Holwood Park & just as we were turning in, the pony staggered & John rushed to his head & seized him as though he was a fainting lady & so as he didn't fall we went on again as if nothing had happened. Then in the Park, which was looking very prett. indeed, I met poor M^rs. B. C. & Eliza Carter with her— She made me come & walk with her & told me about Elinor who is at Combe & very unwell still. I only hope all this mayn't unsettle E's health & spirits & that she will begin that most unhealthy course of running after pleasure all over the world in the same way she used to. She has the same temptation Alice to egg her on & do all her duties. I shall be very sorry for her own sake not to mention my own. It is such a bad moral life. I thk I can have more fellow feeling than you—for its a fault I'm a deal more prone to than you— I do feel too strong a wish after happiness. You confessed to me & so I'll confess to you—as you never scold me. I'm sorry Aunt Eliz. goes worrying herself with all these old friends whom she has got separated from. Aunt F. As advice was good I believe— These [Bents] & Hollands I believe only bore Aunt Eliz. & she seems thankful when she has done. When I reach the age of 70 please the pigs I wont go a round of duty visits. I will cast off all friends but those I feel a strong affection for— Poor Mamy has another headach today. I will move heaven & earth to get her a change—but it must be done by imperceptible strokes & the deepest secrecy observed or I know it will fail. I'm sure she wants it—& I shd think we cd get a house in Tunbridge Wells for example easily enough—It is a change I want for her not much minding where to. Papa has reached his 9^th. day in safety—Hoorah! If he can but get to do a little work his life will be tolerable to him which at present I don't think it is though his spirits at any rate externally are wonderful. He certainly bears illness as well as a woman. I never can feel thankful enough Horace is at school. It is still wonderful to me. Goodbye now dear Child I hadn't ought to have written at all—having my Sonata to practise before my lesson—Em. to Cook & Arabia to read aloud

yours Harriet.