From T. H. Farrer   12 October 1879

Abinger Hall, | Dorking. | (Gomshall S.E.R. | Station & Telegraph)

12 Oct/79

My dear Mr Darwin,

Now that you have sent Ida back to us and I have had a talk with her, I write a line at once to say that I give up my wish to keep the matter secret any longer, which indeed, after this visit, would be very difficult. This will, I believe, be a great relief to every one both here and at Down. There is not much use in dwelling on by-gones— I will only say that when I wished the matter postponed it was with a view to a very different state of things than that which has actually occurred. No one seems to have been able to keep to my conditions, and I dare say they were really impracticable.1 For one thing—and this seriously affects my own past and present views—I could not then be aware how strong and real the attachment was and is.

I will therefore at once write to my own family and tell them about it; and release you and yours from any further attempt at concealment. I will also write a line to Horace today.2

I will only add—as I have been the great obstacle hitherto—that if his health and work stand, as I trust they will, I shall personally hope to get as much happiness from the connection as I could from any marriage which carries her away from home3

Believe me | Very sincerely yours with every kind wish to yourself & Mrs Darwin | T H Farrer

1
Horace Darwin and Ida Farrer had announced their wish to become engaged in June, but T. H. Farrer, Ida’s father, after initially opposing the match or insisting on a delay of a year or two, had stipulated a wait of some months before it was made public, during which time the couple were not to meet (letter from Emma Darwin to Sara Darwin, [1 July 1879] (DAR 219.1: 123); letter from T. H. Farrer to Horace Darwin, [August–September 1879] (Down House, EH 88207899)). Ida had visited Down from 2 October (Emma Darwin’s diary (DAR 242), letter from Emma Darwin to H. E. Litchfield, [29 September 1879] (DAR 219.9: 211)). See also letter from CD to T. H. Farrer, 27 June [1879].
2
Farrer’s letter to Horace has not been found.
3
Farrer had objected to Horace as a son-in-law on the grounds that his health was poor and his career uncertain (letter from T. H. Farrer to Horace Darwin, [August–September 1879] (Down House, EH 88207899)).

Please cite as “DCP-LETT-12253,” in Ɛpsilon: The Charles Darwin Collection accessed on 5 June 2025, https://epsilon.ac.uk/view/dcp-data/letters/DCP-LETT-12253