From Ellen Hutchins to Dawson Turner   22 Mar 1813

Mar. 22

My dear Sir,

I know not how to thank you for all your kindness. My health is better & for a few days I began to feel revived, but My Mother is now in a very melancholy state. I cannot leave her for 5 minutes & I am harassed in so many ways that even to you I cannot write a letter. A few days ago I did not expect her to live. She is now out of immediate danger, but so weak & so subject to nervous attacks that I am in a constant state of terror. My cough is very much better & the pain in my side much relieved. I hoped to be able to write you a long letter, perhaps in a few days I may be able to do so, but I have little hope of being able to do any thing this spring. I shall be very glad to know how Mrs Turner is as often as you can tell me, for she has so often been very ill, that I shall feel uneasy. I will not now enter upon the subject of expressing my gratitude for your kind offer of bringing Miss T. & coming your self to remove me to your house. Were I to attempt to express my feelings on the subject I should never have done writing & that tho’ without feeling satisfied with myself. Mrs T’s etching is very nicely done. She improves rapidly. I wish Madame Rembrandt had been more beautiful. I am very willing to write more but I must not. I am much pleased with your beautiful quotation from Rokeby. I soon shall have the book but if it were now before my eyes & the most delightful thing in the world, I could not read it. My head & thoughts are all in confusion & I am quite unable to fix my attention to any thing for even a very few minutes. Pray give my love to all my friends in your house & particularly to little Ellen. Some day or other I must see you all & yet I fear the hope is a mere Chateau en Espagne. Melancholy realities press so upon me that I am not generally a castle builder.

Your sincere & affectionate friend

E. Hutchins

March 22d 1813

I sent you a little parcel thro’ Mr Gurney I fear after he ceased to be privileged to send it free: I hope you got it, for I am pretty sure Mr Hooker will find a species distinct from J. epiphylla in it. I have no doubt myself. I have just recollected that I have by me the ft. of one of my doubtful species somewhere I will go look for it & send it in this thro’ your good Bishop. Pray thank Mr Lyell for me. I hoped before now to find the ft[fructification] of J. sphagni but could not look for it.