From Ellen Hutchins to Dawson Turner   5 Jun 1813

July 5

My dear Sir,

I can hold out no longer. I have watched every post for a letter from you & now feel so much disappointed & uneasy that tho’ I am not well able to write I cannot defer for another day writing to beg you will let me have a line to inform me how Mrs. Turner is. She was so near the time of her confinement when you wrote last that I have every day since expected to hear she was well & that you were all happy. I feel so confident in your kindness that if something particular had not occurred I am sure you would have written at a time when I must be more than usually desirous of hearing from you. I still hope I shall have a letter long before this reaches you & that it will bring me such intelligence as I shall rejoice in. I am somewhat better than when I wrote last, but indeed it is not easy for a person so harassed & afflicted to have health. My Mother is in a very weak state & requires constant attendance. I had a busy kind of restless life, never for a moment at rest & yet when night comes I cannot find that I have done any thing. I do not read a line. When my Mother is to taken out airing I go with her, but never move out of the house at any other time & scarcely out of her room. You may easily judge my dear Sir that I can do but little for my friends & that in so melancholy a situation I can have nothing interesting to say. I would not attempt to trouble you with a letter at this time but for the uneasiness I feel on Mrs. Turners account. Heavily as my own troubles press upon me & little of my time & thoughts as I can spare to my friends I often think of you all. Do let me hear that you are all well & happy, able to enjoy each others society. My nerves are so weak that my hand trembles & I can hardly write -

Pray mention how Mr Dillwyn is & if he has benefited by going to Buxton. How healthy & cheerful he was when I saw him. I have hardly looked at a plant or flower for many months. All I have been able to do has been to dry a few specimens of my new Rose, by the way I do not know its name, & a few specimens of Jungermannia Lyelli with perfect fructification both of which I shall send you. The mountains are ever before me to excite regrets & remind me of the happy tho’ solitary hours of enjoyment I have had rambling among them. The noise of the sea brings the sea plants before me & the pleasure I used to feel in collecting & preserving specimens for my friends. I feel as I if I should never again have such peaceful enjoyments to soften hours of anxiety & sorrow.

Pray tell me how little Ellen gets on. She now talks plainly & takes long walks with you. Give my love to her & believe me with affectionate regards for you & yours

Your faithful friend

E. Hutchins

Ballylickey

July 5th 1813