From Ellen Hutchins to Dawson Turner   6 Aug 1813

My dear Sir,

I cannot tell you how happy I felt at seeing your letter & with how much emotion I opened it. I am quite satisfied now that I know you are well, that Mrs Turner is safe & that my hope of her having a boy is fulfilled. I sincerely congratulate you both on his birth & trust that he will live to bless you, that he will have mind & talents such as you will hereafter delight to cultivate. The reasons you give are more than sufficient to account for your long silence. Had I been sure that you were well I should have been more patient. The state of suffering I have lived in myself has perhaps rendered me impatient & fretful & quickened my anxiety for the health of my friends.

Never My dear Sir take such pains to apologise to me for any apparent neglect, it never once entered my head that you meant at me. Had you not written for 12 months I should rather attribute your silence to any other cause. Can I suppose after all your long continued kindness that you are not interested in me. Kindness generously bestowed for I cannot imagine that I have deserved half your attention. I have got a very melancholy account to give you of myself. I have been a good deal from home taking my Mother about for change of air. She is considerably better. The Physician thinks she has had a great recovery, at her age to stop the progress of paralytic symptoms is I believe very unusual. My health is very bad & I think not likely to be better for a long time. I am very bilious & have pain in my left side to which I have at this moment a blister, & a very severe cough. My mind too is kept in a state of the most restless uneasiness. I neither eat or sleep. My tall figure will soon look a skeleton unless I am relieved. To the mental troubles that oppress me I can at present see no end. The only comfort I have is that my Mother is not in danger. She requires a great deal of nursing even in her present improved state, more than I am equal to. We are now away from home, your letter was sent to me. When you write again direct to Ballylickey & your letters will be sent wherever I am. I do not yet know when I shall return.

I have at length got the books you sent to me. I try to read a little sometimes but cannot do much, indeed the Doctor will not allow me to enjoy a book as I have always done at night when the cares of the day are over & my mother settled to rest. The first six numbers of Mr Hooker’s Jung. I had before and therefore I shall return those now sent. I have got them now up to the 12^th with the exception of two, the 7^th & 10^th which by some mistake have not been sent. Pray have them sent with the next. It gives me great pleasure to have one of mine named after you, & such a beauty too. As soon as I go home I shall send Mr Hooker very fine specimens of J. Lyelli full of fructification in a perfect state. Was he not glad to get that of J viticulosa. I sent him barren specimens of a plant which I thought might be a variety of J inflata but I now believe it a new species or at least distinct from that. My cousin and friend Dr Taylor has just found it in fructification in the Co Kerry & though I was but little able to examine it & saw him but for a few hours before I left Ballylickey we agreed that it was distinct. In my present situation I do nothing in botany. I intend to walk a little out today about a river which runs through this town and is a new scene to me. A broad dull stream flowing heavily along, how unlike our rapid lively sparkling mountain streams so full of character. Someday or other if I live I may be happy enough to find myself on the banks of the Yar botanizing with you but when that day will arrive I cannot now imagine. I always will be grateful to you & Mrs T for your desire to have me with you & never entirely part the hope that we shall meet. Thank you for the beautiful quotation from Lord Byron's poem, I intend to get it very soon. I would buy anything of his after having read Childe Harold. Though I hate his lordship how fine his poetry is.

My dear Sir, what a happy escape you have had. I can hardly believe that you have got off unscratched when your friend has been so severely injured. The Doctor is just coming in, if he sees me writing he will be angry or at least murmur, but how could I defer writing to you even with my sore side. My love attend you all. Tell me particularly how the little baby is & Ellen & all.

Yours ever EH

Bandon August 6^th 1813

Pray write soon to say if the little child has got rid of her fever. I am glad to hear Mr Dillwyn is better and likely to recover. The Doctor is gone he says I am better today than I have been for some days. I have got M Grahams journal on your recommendation & have been looking it over. I can do little better than look over the pages of any book. I like it very much as far as I have gone. Pray tell me if there is not a new edition of Dillenius just published & if you think it would be good for me to have it. I can't help feeling anxiety about books though I may not live long to enjoy them & though for a great length of time passed I have not been able to read any book with pleasure. Has Mr Hooker brought new Jungermanniae from Devonshire? I should be glad to get from him a specimen of J. heterophylla. I do not know it.