From Ellen Hutchins to Dawson Turner   18 Jan 1814

I can do little more than thank my dear good friend for his two long kind letters, & tell him that I have been relieved from severe suffering & am likely to get on when the weather becomes mild. I have not left my bed for 14 days but I can sit up & write a letter & think a great deal of those who interest themselves so much for me as you & Mrs. Turner. I can only think of you with gratitude & affection. I feel regret that I can be of so little use to you in any way, that I am not even able to answer those letters which interest me so much & contain so much pleasant information. I hope & trust better days are coming & that it will please the wise dispenser of health & all other blessings to grant me strength & enable me to fulfil my duties towards those who want my ease & to enjoy the friendship of those I love & value. Had it been his will to take me from this world I should I trust know how to die with resignation, though not without regret at leaving those I love. My painful & tedious complaint seems to yield to medicine, though it is not yet removed & even after it be I shall suffer long from weakness. The frosty weather has affected me very severely & I have suffered very much from attacks of fever. My poor Mother, whose health is now thank God better than I ever expected to see it, has suffered greatly on my account, but she is supported by the Doctor’s assurance that I shall be on my legs in spring & have better health than for some time past.

I greatly rejoice at the spirits in which you write & share your feelings at having your old correspondence renewed with your old continental friends mingled as it is it with melancholy reflections from the loss of some of those valuable persons & the sufferings of all. But who at home or abroad has not lost within that space of time many of those on whom the happiness of this life depends. Now Germany & indeed all Europe must rejoice in the humiliation of the oppressive ruler who has inflicted such miseries on all ranks. Poor Professor Mertens’ situation was quite shocking. Now indeed I hope he need not so hardly earn his daily bread, how he will enjoy the comforts of peace & leisure. I feel quite mortified to think you how little I deserve either the high opinion you have of me or & that you have given of me to others. I wish I could make myself worthy of it. Your friends must find me a worthless correspondent indeed, but if I had anything to give or could by any means be of use to every person you value I should be most happy. I am glad you like Dr. Taylor. I am quite envious of the happiness he enjoys in seeing you & your family. Pleasures such as this are what I am most disposed to feel envious of & yet I am glad too that he enjoys you & can tell me all about you, & that he has seen my little child, of whom you don’t speak as I wish to hear. I hope for her as for myself that fair weather will bring us on & give us health & strength.

I have so much to thank you for, so many kind tokens, so much regard & concern for my health & happiness now & at all times, that I shall not attempt the subject, but conclude leaving that of which my mind is full with yours to do me justice for, in the full assurance that you know me to feel & value your kindness as I ought to do. May heaven bless you & Mrs. T. & grant you health to enjoy your children & all the other blessings you possess, for many years to come.

Yours ever affectionately

E. Hutchins

Bandon January 18th 1814