From Ellen Hutchins to Dawson Turner   4 Aug 1814

My dear friend I am but just able to tell you I live after dreadful sufferings of various kinds. A few days after I wrote to you I lost my Mother. The shock was great & unexpected, & nearly deprived me of life. The object of my care & anxiety is now gone. The loss of her society is very great & in my circumstances very heart-breaking. I try to reconcile myself patiently to his will who has taken her from me to happiness & rest, just as she deserved. My health is miserably bad & my life little to be depended on. I am not able to sit up an hour & am a perfect skeleton. I am now & have been these 3 months at my Brothers lo[d]ging to recover, but I have not yet advanced much or indeed I may say in any way. My physician came to see me from Bandon a few days ago. He thinks me more likely to recover than I was though I am in a very precarious state. He thinks if I could get my mind easy I may get on, but sad reflections & regrets never leave me. I would write to you myself but if I cannot do so again I shall get a friend to satisfy your kind anxiety for me. I know not how to thank you for your letters & for all your regard. If it please God to give me life I shall feel it one of my very best enjoyments to try to do any thing I can for you. Health I cannot expect. I am so exhausted by a very painful & tedious complaint but whether I live or leave this world I shall I trust not lose the remembrance of the value of your friendship. It has been one of the best blessings of an unhappy life, one from which I have enjoyed pleasure unmixed with any sorrow. May it please the almighty to spare your family & friends to you & to give you all health & peace. I must conclude with gratitude & affection

Yours

E. Hutchins

I heard you had gone to France. Direct to Ardnagashall Bantry. Tell me how Ellen is & how the little boy gets on.