From John Lilly   15th May 1843.

15th May 1843.

Dear Tyndall

It is with feelings of shame and remorse that I commence this letter after so long a delay but what with travelling and other incidental circumstances I have been prevented not from thinking of you but from committing those thoughts to paper For believe me amid all the changes of life¹ memory ever and anon recurs with pleasing sensations to some scene to wit the night at Sarsfields Court,² where you, the mainspring of joy and beau ideal³ of merriment, took some prominent part and scarcely a day has elapsed since the receipt of your last animating epistle⁴ that I have not reproached myself with neglect and ingratitude towards you in not writing: On my journey here I stopped 10 days in Woodside⁵ on the opposite side of Liverpool I was surprised to see that boy Willy⁶ who from all appearance is not a bit improved as regards morality notwithstanding his proximity and daily intercourse with his able tutor⁷ and if he does not alter he will become a very bad boy. I have indeed left the Survey and must say without much regret you may ask why not after being nearly four years connected with it:⁸ my answer is contained in the following reasons 1st the emoluments arising from it are barely sufficient for to keep our corporeal tabernacle⁹ in a fit state to fulfil the avocations of life without one cheering hope or bright anticipation of a sufficiency for premature age occasioned by the dull and stupid monotony of plotting¹⁰ and drawing: 2nd I found that I could not make a proper use of the time called my own, owing to a want of perseverance and decision in the performance of the many resolutions made but to be broken: and in this you have the advantage for I am glad to hear that you still sedulously continue your studies which tend to the cultivation of the mind and will eventually lead to a higher and more exalted line of life than the Survey can boast of: and last not least, being separated from friends (among whom I hope I am not presuming too far in enumerating you) whose conversation &c tended to make the otherwise dull days pass smoothly by, I came to the resolution of quitting a place which had no charms for me: I have as yet laid out no line of conduct for myself, yet I am still at home but expect to get a situation of which you shall hear more anon. My chief amusement is gardening. I thought I would feel more lonesome than I do. I had a letter some time ago from Furnby in which he states Ben¹¹ having had two narrow escapes, one from the bursting of the gun and the other from a blow of a sledge:¹² he is getting on fast at the building: there is nothing else you would care to hear. I was going to put in a few scraps of French, but knowing you are such a good scholar I was afraid: if you should write again to me I will thereby know whether my previous neglect is forgiven

I am your sincere friend | J. Lilly | Portalington¹³

RI MS JT 1/11/3748

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