From Thomas Archer Hirst   Sep. 18th/49

Halifax Sep. 18^th/49

My dear Tyndall –

I have escaped for an hour from the confusion & uproar attending the breaking up of a home;¹ none can feel the sweet significance of that term so keenly until they find themselves in situations like mine, at the very moment too when we feel a longing to sit down & muse on events transpired it is distracting indeed. It was amidst such confusion & in such a disposition that your letter² found me, and may God bless you Tyndall for its contents. I shall ever cherish the tokens of affection it contains & never forget its cheering effect upon me in that time of my affliction. ‘A friend in need is a friend indeed’³ – I can always meet affliction best in solitude & for that reason I wished to leave you so soon⁴ although I knew at last its inutility. It was agony to me at that time to receive sympathy even from yourself although I knew well its sincerity. In such moments as those we would look sorrow calmly in the face. I scarcely remember a single incident of that nights journey. I sat huddled up in my corner for 10 hours & knew nothing, thought nothing, was sensible of nothing but a despairing stupor, until arriving at Frankfort⁵ & exposing my features for the first time I met the astonished curious gaze of my companions of the journey – So much does nature take the impression of the mind that the lovely scenery of the Rhine seemed tame to me: & thus I ended my miserable journey. Yet I found no peace even then. it is true I was welcomed by kind faces but their very kindness pained me, & was soon followed by incessant talk of goods & chattels, money & worldly matters, more distracting still. I longed to be away again to escape such desecration, yet I knew not where to go – I wished for some support apart from myself to bear my burden, & found at last that I must be my own physician. At last conviction came upon me that such grief as mine was pure weakness – useless – & after much wrestling resignation crept over me by degrees – this is comfort to the misery I was in & I look forward with hope & without fear to time when after all this bustle I can sit me down in peace & calmly grapple with my position

And now to other matters. I fully expected that now I should be thrown upon the world entirely on my own resources that I must look alone to my hands & brain for my own subsistence. I had fully reconciled myself to this & longed to be up & doing & was consequently almost dissapointed when I learnt that my poor Mother⁶ had kept us much in the dark in regard to our circumstances & no doubt expected it would be a little surprise to us to know at her death that we were possessed of a little fortune still. Poor Good Soul she acted wisely for by Gods help the determinations I had formed while under such an impression I will follow still. I had made up my mind to do without & it shall not weaken my resolve – All fear of board & lodging for me is taken away Tyndall. I am master of what I consider a considerable independence & such as will enable me far sooner than I expected to follow the bent of my own inclination at Marburg⁷ but more of this another time – Only this much I will say more on the subject just now, and in mentioning it I would have you not to consider it an impulse of the moment called forth by your own generous offers, for it is no such thing the idea I have had since you first went to Marburg except at the time when by my own fancied losses I thought it was impossible. but now my position being clear I wish you to weigh it calmly & not to be influenced by any motives of delicacy but to take it as the act of one brother towards another, for I can only say that your acceptance of my offer will gratify me as much as your refusal would cause me sorrow – My Mothers trustees have considered that on account of their opinion of my ability to manage my own affairs & from a general opinion of my prudence &c &c &c that contrary to the usual custom with minors I am to have the entire control of my own income, it amounts to some £150 per annum: Half that amount will serve my purposes or nearly (& I mention the sum in order that you may fully judge for yourself & not consider it enthusiasm or any other boyish influence) Now I know well your desire to remain longer in Germany Berlin or France & that this affair of money is your sole hindrance. Will you accept of part of this for the purpose? If you do not I shall have to deposit it in some other persons hands to keep it for me. You can see from my statement of the circumstances that what will serve your purpose will be no inconvenience to me & I will trust to that same brain of yours to repay me whenever it may suit you. I wont offer it as a gift for then there would be small chance of your acceptance. Consider this Tyndall my boy, at your leisure, & be as candid with me as I am with you – I shall long remember the kindness shewn me by M^r Knoll his kind, honest & manly conduct will often recur to me. remember me to him kindly & tell him if I ever meet him in Germany I shall grasp his hand with the feeling of a brother, & that a time will come when I shall be able to thank him without the use of a Dictionary – Frankland too & all my other friends I do not forget for I met with nothing but kindness from them during my visit. In the hurry of my departure I forgot many things that I now think of, the settlement of which we must defer to our next meeting. At present then adieu

from your affectionate friend | T.A. Hirst

Sep 25^th / 49

Since writing the above I have taken lodgings with your old friend M^rs Wright who I have no doubt will make me as comfortable as possible. The enclosed is a letter parcel⁸ for you which I forgot to deliver when I was over. I don’t know exactly who it is from but it will probably explain itself – TAH.

RI MS JT/1/HTYP/33-4

RI MS JT/1/H/138