From Thomas Archer Hirst   19th Sept 1850

9 Blenheim Square | Marlborough Hill | Bristol | 19^th Sept. 1850

Dear Tyndall,

I am labouring under a bad cold, and have not been out of doors for a day or two. I have felt it coming on for some time and am only thankful that it has overtaken me here where I can meet and conquer it conveniently. After a sleepless uncomfortable night, I have jumped out of the sheets wet with perspiration, dashed cold water over me, scrubbed myself well and am now all in a glow, but at the same time very weak and feverish; after which statement of my state and symptoms you must not be surprised if they make themselves apparent in my letter. The fact is after vainly attempting to read or sit still I have seized the pen to write to you, under the impression that if I could but faithfully record my symptoms, I should be doing a service not to Physiology or Medicine merely but to Metaphysics – Yes, just before I began and what made me do so, was a fleeting glimpse that I thought I had got into my own inner construction; instead of my Ego and non Ego¹ being one and indivisible, I thought I could feel the influence of both in antagonism. The latter felt as a dead weighty mass, no longer at the disposal of the former, but cramping and crushing it somehow. I assure you it was a strange feeling that: and I feel it now to be a disappointment to myself as well as a loss to the science of Metaphysics that I can no longer recall it. And that is just the way we are always kept in the dark, if Lunatics and others we call insane could only be persuaded to record their sensations, so as we could understand them, what an insight we might obtain! But this is impossible for the evidence that their senses would give, or more properly the relation between their Ego & non ego is different to our own. Different mind you not necessarily diseased. Who knows but that we may be the insane. I thought so a few moments ago when all was dark after what appeared an illumination. But I must conclude or I shall cause you to believe that I am in reality delirious, indeed I feel it necessary to be quiet & cease thinking if possible about such matters – On Tuesday morning next I shall be ready to start from here,² but shall wait your further orders.

Yours affectionately | T.A. Hirst.

RI MS JT/1/H/156