From Thomas Archer Hirst   June 1st 1856

Broughton | June 1^st 1856

My dear John.

I have never had a spare half hour to devote to writing to you since I left you in London.¹ I have had a hard time of it, with a heavy heart I have had to assume a cheerful face. I scarcely ever allow myself to look far forward into the future for it would be to anticipate (probably) great sorrow[.] I do not allow myself to look back on the past and dwell on the hopes which I once indulged for to do so would be to give way to useless regrets and all would unfit me for the duty close at hand to keep Anna cheerful and to do everything possible to ward off the consequences of her malady. So far I have succeeded very well she has reconciled herself to leaving our little home to which we have become greatly attached and I have managed to bring this about without alarming her. John Martin came a week ago and on Thursday² he took her with him to Ireland. I am hoping to hear tomorrow of their safe arrival at Newry.³ As soon as possible I shall follow her for in her present state of health I cannot bear to be away from her very long. On Monday week I shall commence my examinations and get them over on the Wednesday[.] On the Thursday morning I shall leave for Ireland. When you come I want you to take up your quarters here and keep house for me.⁴ Wynne⁵ will remain here of course until after the concert. Our servant will remain in the house for a fortnight at least after I am gone and she will make you comfortable. Thus you will have a quiet and independent lodging for yourself and it will give us great pleasure to think that you are making our house your home. I have of course told Mr E.⁶ about my leaving and of course he has not a word of any kind to say about it or about my successor. There is one plan of supplying my place which Wright, Debus and I simultaneously entertained that is to get as good a mathematician and Physicist (if possible) as we can find and then ask you to spend your long vacation here and help by your advice and presence as much as you can. Much as this would be to the advantage of Queenwood I must say I hesitate greatly to ask you to make such a sacrifice knowing as I know what you ought to be doing; and what terrible anxiety of mind your residence at Queenwood will involve, I can scarcely ask or even advise you to do any such thing after your long toil; peace of mind is essential to you; at any rate you should have such peace as will allow you to give your whole attention to your own investigations, and to harrass you with such matters as will be brought before you at Queenwood appears to me cruel indeed. Yet on the other hand if you do not come the prospect for Queenwood will be very dark. Wright as far as he goes is an excellent & pure minded fellow, but there are some things he cannot do, he and Haas alone will never pull well together. Then again there is Debus who could be of immense service, but he wants practical tact and with Haas he will never be able to cooperate without giving rise to absurd jealousies. As for a new man there are 9999 chances to 1 that he will be merely a mathematician besides at the best he would require time, a long time to acquaint himself even with the length and breadth of his position, and meanwhile much mischief may be done. What is to be done you alone will be able to say. I must speak to Edmondson this week, but before doing so I should like to hear from you, for upon your opinion would depend altogether what I should say to him. As to a new mathematician and physicist I have been thinking I would ask you to give me a letter of introduction to Haughton and I would call upon him and see if he knows anybody suitable. As far as physics & mathematics are concerned Dublin is the best field I know.

We shall remain in Ireland 6 or 8 weeks, then return here to settle our affairs and in August or September we will start for the Continent.

When I attempt to look calmly at my position and prospects I feel a coward. When I remember what were my hopes and intentions only 6 months ago, the contrast upsets me completely[.] I feel, well enough, the danger and uselessness of dwelling on such things but I cannot always avoid it, and it requires all my courage to face what is before me and in doing the best at this moment to trust the rest to God. But never fear I will do so.

Yours as ever | TA Hirst

RI MS JT/1/H/225