From Thomas Archer Hirst   March 15th 1857

Pau. | March 15^th 1857

My dear John.

Thanks for your last letter¹ and the loan of £25. To all your previous letters containing offers of money I answered as I felt at the time. It was not therefore from any hesitation at accepting your offer of help but simply because I did not see far enough into the future circumstances that I did not accept the same when first made. By so doing it appears I have caused you some trouble which might have been prevented. It is past however and I will say no more about it but feel thankful that I have a friend who will ever help me as a brother and from whom I can unhesitatingly accept such help. You will not be surprised to hear that since Anna's illness² I have had many such offers that I could not accept. This very day in fact I have had to express a few firm words to John Martin on the subject, and they have not pleased him. John Martin has many amiable and admirable traits of character as I have had many opportunities of seeing during the winter. His unvarying tenderness and kindness to Anna were there nothing else would be sufficient to secure my respect. As men, however, there is little sympathy between us and as you may easily conceive, far easier than I can explain, I cannot accept pecuniary assistance from him, especially when I know that I am just as well able to give Anna every little luxury she desires as he is to assist me. It is long since he first offered me money and I know my constant refusal displeases him, but what can I do. There is or ought to be in every man a certain feeling of independence which, even at the risk of displeasing others, it is a sacred duty to keep untarnished. It is of no avail to call it pride and argue that if I accept help from one I may do so from another; the one who accepts assistance or the one to whom it is offered alone can judge of what he ought to do in the matter. If Anna's comfort or health were at stake, I should not hesitate a moment, but I do not know that she has had a desire that I was not able to satisfy not a want that I was not able to supply nor shall she have as long as I have a penny. At the same time I will not be defrauded of my unquestionable right to use my own pence for this object which of all others is closest and dearest to me. Hitherto I have had no burden to bear my income has sufficed even for our daily wants, but of course I am prepared to make any efforts when the time shall arrive and I must demand from many good people the liberty to bear my own burden even though my refusing their assistance may pain them. Yes, in many respects I am truly sorry John Martin has pressed his offer and having pressed it that I cannot accept it. Small as it may seem this has been a source of some anxiety to me. If you had been near me I should have talked to you about it. You will no doubt wonder what Anna's feelings on the subject are for of course the gift was nominally to her, and I took care to leave her free to choose. As you may guess she would not decide without knowing my feelings and consequently I did not dissemble them. I am glad to say she felt exactly as I did in the matter that as long as our means were sufficient to gratify every wish she preferred being free. At the same she felt more keenly perhaps than myself that our refusal would hurt her brother. I have filled my letter with the subject and yet have expressed myself badly but you will understand me.

Anna still continues better and daily improves a little. As for myself owing to the changeable weather I have a nasty cough lingering about me, it will neither make advances nor quit possession and did give me a little uneasiness a week ago by threatening to settle in my chest. By care however I hunted it away from that quarter of my body and I no longer care about it. I did expect to be able to send you a short memoir for the Phil. Mag. During the last week I gathered up my material and put it into shape but I find by doing so that there are still a few things I must examine further before I let it go away from me. A great step is made however towards publishing and I trust before long to dedicate (privately) and to forward to you my dear John this my first production.³ It will be short though I fear too purely mathematical to interest you much. I will when sending it to you give you a short abstract of what it contains and by what it will be followed.

Did you ever read ‘Eulers letters to a German Princess’⁴ I bought them a short time ago and like them very much There are some admirably written little scientific and metaphysical essays in them.

Anna sends her love with mine. | T.A. Hirst

RI MS JT/1/H/231

RI MS JT/1/HTYP/491-2