WCP1539

Fang Castle¹ —

7 Mortimer St

W.

Jan. 9 — 1870 — 1.

[A sketch of a frog appears here]

Now you're wuss and wuss²! Turisco is the "University"³ of the High-mighty and pious "College of Dentists of England", and every where else: The "collection"⁴ of Officers, and when I have to give an acc[oun]t of all the four penny pieces [2] I have received during the year — for, and on behalf of the Jaw-breakers in general, and the Council in particular.

We begin at 7 — close when we have no more to say; and adjourn to St James's Hall⁵ feeding Box: for a trial of the Artificials! ⁶

It was lucky I called there this morng — Our Sec. had ordered a Cold Collation — Cold Veal — Ham and Fowls! Cold Devils! you may as well eat a Hat-box or Fire-wood:

I have ordered a Hot Supper Ducks — Giblet Pies — Plum-pudding and such like Comforts — cold Grub indeed, and the Glass at 26. So you see, as I cannot well be [3] in two places at once; and "where duty call one must obey", we shall not have the pleasure of Banquetting upon the Cold Greens.⁷

As to "alcohol"⁸ — I do not think I shall venture out — Aunt Loo⁹ is going to preside at a School treat in the shape of T. Buns — Plum Cake and sundry indigestibles, one a Magic-Lanthorn,¹⁰ which they are to devour: Tom¹¹ and his Cousin Constance¹² go as well: So I shall be alone: as the Gals are at Torquay — capital place for females as it is all Talkée! talkée!¹³-So as I said before I shall be alone — and I contemplate the utter destruction of a kidney pudding! think of that Master Brook¹⁴ — a kidney pudding! and perhaps a bit of steak or a Sausage or two — perhaps three! only two of us — the pudding and J! no weggibles, to take up the [4] room the puddings ought to occupy! Oh no! And then the ale — think of the ale — a fresh Cask — Nine Gallons! a shilling a Gallon! goes down your throat like a wheel-barrow; washing out the Corners preparatory to a fresh plate of pudding — the idea is enchanting; and would, if set to Music, be overpowering! Talk of quartettes and quintettes; what are they to a Solo upon a Kidney pudding? answer me that! no you can't[.] It is unanswerable! So with our blessing upon thee and thine I remain "pretty much as usual" | yours | T. Purland. [signature]

They have taken great liberties with your name at St Georges Hall¹⁵ — and a D^r. S often has done the same — So does some fellow who travelled in the Indian archi something to collect oyster-shells, a Yankee.